


Maybe There Are No Good Guys

by Brenniya



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa is Endgame, F/F, F/M, M/M, The 100 (TV) Season 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:46:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22453633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenniya/pseuds/Brenniya
Summary: This is a fanfiction that starts after Clarke goes into the woods after mount weather in s2 . Clarke is lost after killing all the innocents in mount weather and not sure if she can accept the truth of the ground. She's not sure that she's ready to accept the harsh ways of the ground luckily she knows the perfect people to teach her. But will she be willing to turn to them after the betrayal at the mountain or will she walk a path alone until death calls her name
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Gina Martin, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Luna/Raven Reyes, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Hide And Seek

Clarke's pov

As I walk into the woods leaving Camp Jaha and who I used to call my people behind, my heart starts racing as the things I've done rush into my head. I don't just think about mount weather but all the violence I've done and seen on the ground. I see Jasper getting speared. Flashes of Adams body covered in burns. Wells body with detached fingers. Hanging of Murphy. Charlotte jumping off the cliff. Torturing Lincoln. Blowing up the Bridge. Killing the grounder guard to escape. Raven getting shot. Lighting the fuse burning the grounder army alive. The people being drained for blood. Anya's death. Killing Finn. 

The sound of footsteps coming from the direction of Camp Jaha pulls me out of my thoughts, God damn Bellamy can't you just not follow me, "Come on guys she just left she can't be that far away." I hear Bellamy's voice say. And with that I start running as fast as I can moving in zigzags and making sharp turns to mess up the trail so they can't track me. Once I'm sure I lost them, I slow down and steady my breathing. Now that I'm out of sight of Camp Jaha I think about where to go. Lexa! NO Clarke don't even think about that backstabbing bitch who left you and caused you to kill the innocent at mount weather! I Shake my head to get rid of the thought. Still trying to think of a place to go, as all the things I did at mount weather and Ton DC memories come rushing back into my head. I can't hold it in anymore as I slide my back down against a tree. I stop holding back the salty water and let it run down my pale cheeks and my vision goes blurry. Was the ground even worth it? I think to myself.

I start to let out all the emotions I've been holding inside out. All of the pain, the fear, the anger, the confusion that trapped me all came out and I was left empty. The only thing I know for sure is I feel cold. It's an inner coldness that I can feel will never fade away and no matter what I do I will always be cold. I wonder if this is how lexa felt when she left me at mount weather or is this who she's always been a cold hearted beauty.

Was this going to be something I'd have to get used to? Was this who I must become? Was this all the ground had to offer? I mean the nature was beautiful it was everything I hoped it would be, but is that just to distract me from the poison that brewed right below the surface? Is that what this is? A beautiful poison. A beautiful death? A beautiful art piece that distracts us from the artist real message. The pain behind the painting. Tear behind the paint. The blood mixed into the colors. I've spent most of my life dreaming about what life on the ground would be like but I never thought it would be the death of my innocents, the death of my heart, and the death of my humanity. Would I have to sacrifice all the best parts of me to survive? All the good in me that made my father proud. All the good that I prided myself on. Is it all gone? Is it only weakness down here? Will it be the very thing that gets me killed? I just wanted to be the good guy. But maybe the good guy doesn't make it to the end of the movie because it seems the reality of life on the ground is there are no good guys.

I'm going to have to make a choice. I'm either going to let go of the best parts of me or risk the chance of surviving the ground. "You think our ways are harsh but that's how we survive" flashes through my head." UGHHHHHHHHH GET OUT OF MY HEAD LEXA" I scream in frustration. This causes a bunny to start hopping away quickly. "you see what you've done. Now I'm scaring the creatures." I say to myself. "More like starting to go crazy if you ask me" I hear Octavia voice say scaring the life out of me. "How did you find me?" I ask. "You know I was trained by Indra" she replies simply before coming and sitting next to me. I nod my head. We stay silent for a moment before she speaks,"Clarke what are you doing?" she asks. "Losing my mind apparently" I joke. "Now for real?" she asks. "I don't know" I sigh. "I can't stay there because all I'll see is me pulling the lever and ending all those lives. But I don't know where I should go. I feel like I need to find myself and the only way to do that is to get away and just figure myself out." I reply weakly. "I get that." She says before standing up. "Just to let you know they've already checked the dropship so nobody won't be there again until tomorrow." she says before turning around. "Octavia." I call out. She turns around ,"Thanks." I say causing her to nod before disappearing again.

After sitting on the ground for a couple of minutes more I pull myself up and start my journey to the dropship. Damn I'm thirsty now that I think about it I probably should've packed a proper ' I'm leaving for a while' bag. This wasn't my smartest decision but I can figure it out. I'll go to the river and get something to drink first then I'll need to see if we left anything useful at the dropship. I finally make it to the river and quickly start to collect water in a leaf and drink it. 

" Did you got to the river?" I ask him. "I figured it was worth losing a finger or two". Finn replies

Finn's head hangs as blood gushes out of where I stabbed him causing me to drop the leaf and back away from the river. Its all in my head. Its all in my head. Its all in my head. "Calm down Clarke you're okay." I tell myself as I take in a ragged breath. " You're gonna be fine" I reassure myself again. I sit down again and put my head in my hands. This isn't how the ground is supposed to be. Why don't I understand?

I get up and my feet start moving. I don't even know where I'm going or where it's leading me but hopefully it takes me to a place where I belong. I can't take this mental torture much longer, its like I'm in a cycle of mind games and I can't find a way out. How did I even get here, I just wanted my friends and family safe but now I'm not me no more. Soon after I arrive at Ton DC, what why am I here, once I see where I ended up I take steps back until I'm back into the woods not far from Ton DC. I sit down and think, should I go in and get answers from Lexa? Or should I just keep trying to run away from life hoping it will get better? Hoping that I'll be able to live with it. I mean I'm barely stable now it can't get that much worse. Maybe if I'm lucky she might even put me out of my misery. Without a second thought I get up and make my way towards Ton DC again.

Once I got to the gates of Ton DC I saw Indra standing guard at a tent which I'm guessing to be Lexa's, I put my hands up as I call to the guards at the gate. I'm Clarke of the sky people and I come seeking a chance to speak to the commander. I watch as Indra sticks her head into the tent then approaches the gate with her normal scowl on her face.

Indra had the guards open up the gates and as soon as it open some guard tackles me to the ground with a knife to my throat. I look up and see his icy eyes, usually that would send chills down my spine if they weren't as cold as I feel. I can hear Indra scream at him to get off me but he doesn't listen. Then I hear the words "yu goplei ste odon" from a familiar voice before the guards head was off and his blood was staining my shirt.

I push his lifeless body off of me and there standing before me in all her power and glory was Lexa. She offers me a hand, considering it's her territory I decided I might as well take it. "What are you doing here?" She ask. "I want to speak to you in private."


	2. Talking to Lexa

Clarke's pov

Lexa led me into her tent, and dismissed the guards for our privacy. Once alone Lexa asked me, "What are you doing here?" My blood boiled at the way she just asked why I'm here when that's the question I should be asking her. We should be celebrating our victory from the mountain together but instead she left. Left me there to kill everyone for my people when it was only supposed to be a rescue mission not a genocide. I just can't understand why she left when we had the upper hand, but I need to understand. Once I calmed I then replied to her question. "I'm here because I wanted to know why you broke our alliance, and left my people at mount weather!?!" I said with my anger seeping through my words. She looked at me with a blank look on her face and calmly stated, "the duty to protect my people comes first." like it was the most simplest thing in the world. I breath out in frustation. Ofcourse that would be her answer I don't know why I even asked. For some reason I hoped she would give me more since we're away from prying eyes but I should've known that's just who she is. "Alright commander." I tell her before turning around to leave.

Lexa's pov

I saw Clarke was angry at me when she turned to leave I grabbed her hand and held it tight. She looked at me sending daggers through her eyes. We stood there in a very uncomfortable silence, having a mental war through our eyes, neither of us willing to back down. As I look into her eyes I could see how broken she was, like me. I saw how she was cold inside, like me. She was torn and needed to be patched up, like me. She needed to be fixed before she ended up exactly like me.

But I needed to know what happened at mount weather. Clarke pulled her hand away from mine and turned to walk away. I grabbed her hand once more and turned her to me, and asked, "Clarke what happened at the mountain?". Clarke looked at me and a single tear fell. Once tears started falling she looked at the ground trying to get her emotions in control. I walked over to comfort her but was immediately pushed away. When she looked up at me hatred flashed across her face before it went blank.

"What's wrong?" I asked. She stayed silent looking at me blankly. "Clarke please tell me or I won't know how to help you", I said hoping she'll open up."You know when I needed you're help? you left!" Clarke yelled. Then she started shaking her head. "Goodbye commander." she say before turning to leave again. "Oh and don't worry about the mountain no more there all gone." she says before leaving causing me to become confused. What did she mean there all gone? I'll have to send some scouts to go find out.

I peek my head out the tent and signal for one of the people walking by to tell Indra to come to my tent. I walk back in and sit down on my throne and think about my interaction with Clarke. "Heda, you've summoned me?" Indra asks pulling me out of my thoughts. "Sha. Ai had an interesting conversation with Clarke of the skai people." I say causing her to nod for me to continue. "She said don't worry about the mountain because they're all gone." This gets a gasp from her which she quickly conceals. "Get your best scouts to travel to the mountain and find out what happened." I demand. "Sha Heda." she bows then leaves the tent.  
\----------------------------------------  
Clarke's pov

Now I'm back in the woods where I started. If I go to the dropship I'm just gonna see the grounders I burnt. Where do you go when you don't have no where you belong? Where do you go when you're haunted by ghost? Where do you go when you don't have a home? Where do you go when your best bet is being alone? I think to myself as I wander through the woods looking for somewhere to hide out tonight. After walking for 20 minutes, I noticed a cave that looks good enough. I draw my gun out of my boot and walk in to search. After making sure the areas secure I lay down on the cold ground to emotionally and physically drained to even think about eating, I close my eyes and drift into a restless sleep. 

I'm in mount weather. I pull the switch and I watch how all the children start screaming help as the radiation burns there skin and I look in the computer where my friends are and watch as they get radiation burns and as there skin is burning I see them look directly in the camera and say, "this is all your fault Clarke", I see Finn shakes his head as he starts bleeding out of chest, I see wells as he's stabbed by charlotte. I just want to run away I try to run but in the doorway is my mom with burn marks everywhere on visible skin. "You did this to me " I hear her say. Right before I shoot up out off the ground. I start shaking and breathing really hard. "It was just a dream clarke you're fine" I tell myself wiping the sweat off my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here's chapter 2, I let me know what y'all think by commenting. Til nxt time  
> -B


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